Fractured Journalism Nominations: Tampon Prom Kings, Kamala's Dance Track, and Walz White Trash Couture

Remmy Awards. (Credit: Brad Slager via AI/Bing Image Creator)

It is time for a new round of nominations for nefarious news nonsense! In recognizing the efforts of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created The Golden Remmington Awards.

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This trophy honors the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. With an eye to that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today or misreport in an audacious fashion.

This week, we see the press had been rather Kamala-intensive, leading to plenty of dispirited journalism. These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, to be honored at the end of the year for the 2024 Remmy Awards. 


Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • MSNBC

It is undeniable the bulk of the news industry has decided to come out in full support of Kamala Harris, and perhaps few outlets have been more blatant than MSNBC. In one shining example, the network’s social media page posted a video clip of podcast titan Joe Rogan supposedly lending his backing to Kamala Harris. The problem is that in the brief clip of barely 20 seconds, there were four edits, in which he touted Harris serving in the military, as well as sitting in Congress for eight years.

Harris accomplished neither of these things. The network spliced a portion of Rogan’s commentary discussing Tulsi Gabbard into this clip, and once called out, MSNBC social media hacks removed those mentions and reposted the truncated clip, then removed it entirely after receiving more criticism.

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Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  • Maura Judkis, Kara Voght - Washington Post

There has been so much shameless fawning over Kamala Harris that it is tough to stand out among those as being the most obsequious. Definitely putting in the bid for recognition was this duo from WaPo’s Culture Section. They marvel at the fact that a producer had taken the annoying cackling of Kamala Harris and sampled it to create a dance track. Hey, anything to avoid discussing the issues — am I right, ladies?!


Distinguished National Reporting

  • Dereck Guy - Politico Magazine

As if to prove the pathetic simping is not just reserved for Kamala, Politico’s Derek Guy is on the case. Anyone who looks at Tim Walz visually may come up with a variety of impressions, but considering him a fashion icon is probably deep — if not last — on the list. Yet here is Mr. Guy selling us on the concept that his grubby, Polaris-driving, duck blind-snoozing “style” is set to become all the rage. 

 

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • Anand Giridharadas - MSNBC

It is always assured there will be a segment going off the rails in some capacity when a pundit launches into a lecture to white people on the way things are. Here, Giridharadas decided to let the pigmented-deficient know how grand it would be to have a black boss. 

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Beyond the racial impropriety on display is the sheer ignorance of the comment. How exactly does one sell the concept of the “joy” of a black boss in regard to Kamala Harris, when this is the woman who has watched over 90 percent of her staff walk since she became vice president? 


Distinguished Editorial Writing

  • Belle Boggs - New York Times

In a masterpiece of self-centeredness and a lack of pragmatism, this author attempts to weigh in on the coming election by relaying an episode that played out in her home. After an incident, she ends up contacting the CDC, her healthcare supplier, law enforcement, and animal control, all before going to the ER and getting hit with hundreds of dollars of medical charges. This due to the fact that she saw a bat fly into her room, then fly off. How she makes this hysterical reaction into a political lesson is beyond common sense – as is the Times giving her a platform for this derangement.


Distinguished Cultural Criticism

  • Monica Hesse - Washington Post

Within days of his being announced on the ticket, Tim Walz was absorbing a social media reaction based on his policy as governor of mandating the installing of feminine hygiene products in male bathrooms. Soon, #TamponTim was trending, and you can sense it was having an effect as the compliant media sought to battle back against this moniker. One of those was Monica Hesse, who tried to defuse the description with a claim that boys in high school who would provide a girl in need with feminine products would become revered by the ladies.

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Sorry, Monica, reality states that any kid who was tracking the menstrual cycles of the female students would be seen as a creep and ridiculed to the horizon.



The New York Post Medal for Distinguished Headline Writing

  • National Public Radio

In the effort to condense multiple subjects from this NPR newsletter into its headline they managed to become uniquely accurate sounding regarding the arrival of Tim Walz on the Kamala Harris ticket.

Walz, a new Hamas leader??? That is not such a stretch.

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